What can you do when your partner likes to spend freely, but you prioritize saving your money? This is a common situation I understand well due to personal experience. I married a man who loved shiny toys, from a brand new car every half year to the latest and trendiest tech gadgets. As you can imagine, I was thrilled when he admitted he enjoyed saving money.
This change didn’t happen overnight. My husband was, in my words, a ‘big spender’. He was excellent at making a hefty income, but even more proficient at extravagantly spending it. Thankfully, we’ve been able to find a delightful middle ground with my husband becoming more thrift-conscious daily. So here’s my advice if your partner isn’t as money-conscious as you are.
UNDERSTAND THEIR HISTORY
I was raised in a household where budgets were a constant topic and we sometimes had to forego certain amenities due to my father’s employment situation. Talking about money wasn’t taboo, but a routine conversation.
My husband’s upbringing, however, was a contrast. His father was the type to impulsively buy whatever he fancied, although his mother was frugal. Despite being middle-class families, we were brought up with completely different financial mentalities. Remembering this helps us handle our finance discussions better. Understand that your partner, having a different upbringing, may need time to adapt to budgeting. Changes in ingrained financial habits will not occur instantly and it’s important to be patient.
TAKE CHARGE
If you’re habitually frugal or want to embrace frugality to improve your financial status, don’t hesitate to take control of your finances. Start with maintaining the checkbook, reviewing credit card statements, and gaining a comprehensive understanding of your financial situation.
Upon deciding to save more, I instructed my husband to retain his receipts so I could keep track of our expenditure. He never bothered with it, which bothered me. The remaining option was for me to steer our financial ship, and so I did. Don’t let your partner’s indifference towards saving deter you. Grab the financial reins, and eventually your partner will see the light.
BE A PROACTIVE EXAMPLE
Lead by example. Counter your partner’s desires to frequently eat out by planning meals. Suggest costless ventures like hiking or strolling around town over shopping sprees.
Introduce ‘no spend’ days and savor the atmosphere during outings instead of purchasing items on whim.
TALK ABOUT SHARED GOALS
Put your combined dreams, like owning a farm or retiring on a beachfront property, down on paper. Surround yourself with visuals of these goals to constantly remind you of what you’re striving for. Before making impulse purchases, revisit these goals and evaluate if the spend truly helps reach the objectives.
DITCH EXTRAVAGANT GIFTING
I used to receive gifts from my husband for every occasion. Although I appreciated the sentiment, I honestly didn’t want more possessions. I suggested we spend time together instead during special moments. So we switched from buying gifts to investing in experiences and bonding as a family, which are infinitely more rewarding.
PERSEVERE
Don’t lose hope even if it seems impossible. Prudent financial habits are always beneficial and worth pursuing, even if your partner isn’t invested. Keep setting admirable examples and maintain respectful conversations about finances.
EMBRACE THE FRUGAL JOURNEY
My husband occasionally dwells on his past financial extravagance. I remind him that past mistakes aid our growth. My struggle continues, but the awareness of potential risks of poor financial habits motivates me to manage our money wisely.
Frugality is a lifelong process, not a finish line. Remain patient if your partner isn’t on board yet. Set a positive precedent and they will eventually follow.
How have financial differences influenced your relationship? What hurdles have you encountered?
