Upon marrying, my husband and I realized we didn’t know much about our individual financial situations. Our reticence around money, regarded as an uncomfortable topic, led to unexpected revelations – his significant credit card debt, my substantial student loans. This lack of dialogue around finances set us on a precarious financial path affecting our marriage for years. Labeling him as a spender and myself as frugal demonstrates just how much our financial perspectives clashed and this discrepancy often led to monetary unrest.
However, we battled to find equilibrium in our financial affairs. Here are three strategies we employed to foster financial harmony in our marriage, strategies you could adopt too.
1. ADOPT A TEAM MENTALITY
When it comes to income, the idea of “Yours and Mine” can easily take root. However, this mindset can negatively affect your long-term financial targets and disrupt collective harmony. Keeping tabs on individual earnings can lead to discord if efforts to maintain balance become constant.
That’s not to say there aren’t times when judicious management of joint funds is mandatory – if a partner has a gambling issue or refuses to contribute in either monetary or non-monetary ways, it’s naturally going to cause tension.
However, these severe scenarios need to be distinguished from a typical partnership where both parties contribute. The point is – there’s no reason for scorekeeping as both partners are on the same team.
2. COMMON GOALS
For genuine financial stability, you both need to be rowing in the same direction. Are you seeking security for your retirement, dreaming of globe-trotting, or aspiring to own a home? Each of these objectives demands a certain level of financial dedication and autonomy.
If your financial goals clash, it’s impossible to achieve a harmonious financial existence. But if you share identical goals and simply prioritize them differently, seek to find a middle ground by backing both objectives equally. For instance, if he wants a second honeymoon to Maui and you’re keen on maximizing your 401(K), work on achieving both simultaneously.
3. FREQUENT CHECK-INS
How often are money matters discussed between you and your partner? Setting your finances on cruise control is not enough. Big life events can change financial priorities and even minor weekly developments can prompt adjustments in budgeting.
Regularly touch base with each other regarding your financial plans. A frequent update, even if just a 10-minute conversation every week, helps verify that you’re both working towards the same objectives and are in agreement about how your money is being used.
Did you and your partner find a rhythm with handling your finances within your relationship? Are money discussions a new phenomenon or have they always been a part of your relationship dynamic?
