Undeniably, my husband had little interest in budgeting or financial matters. He was more than happy to allow me to manage anything that involved money. On the surface, this arrangement was initially perfect as I relished having control.
In our marriage, we embodied the classic dynamics of a couple: one being a saver (myself) and the other a spender (my beloved). Naturally, disagreements over spending and saving created conflict. We quickly found ourselves ensnared in a parent-child dynamic where I would monitor and restrict his spending, inciting his resistance.
After enduring countless monetary disputes, I realized a change was necessary. After all, finances are infamously the principal cause of divorce – it is undeniably a source of stress and conflicts.
However, we found ways to align our financial perspectives and I even managed to pique my husband’s interest in budgeting. Here’s how we did it:
PERIODIC FINANCIAL DISCUSSIONS
Once a month, my husband and I would schedule time to evaluate our budget for the upcoming month. This regular monthly meeting proved to be less strenuous than having weekly discussions. The aim of these ‘money talks’ was to have a detailed, clear budget, knowing exactly where each cent goes. This practice helped us align our thoughts on future expenses.
COMMON GOALS
I have a penchant for travel, while my husband finds joy in purchasing electronic gadgets. To save money, we agreed to pool resources towards shared goals. A portion of our income was put aside every month for leisure-related expenditures like vacations and electronics, ensuring our individual interests were catered to.
FUTURE ASPIRATIONS
We currently reside in a two-bedroom home, but harbor aspirations of upgrading to a larger one in the future. Mapping out how we would materialize this dream proved essential. Conversing over it consistently enforced the feeling of teamwork between us rather than pitting us against each other.
TOKENS OF APPRECIATION
Acknowledging progress is important. It feels good to be recognized when milestones are achieved. For instance, when we reached a certain percentage of our goal – like 25% or 50% – we would indulge in an ice cream treat. These outings were reserved exclusively for budget victories, amplifying the special feeling it brings and adding to the anticipation.
UNITED STANCE ON FINANCES
Our relationship has seen significant improvement ever since we initiated open discussions about our finances. The ceaseless disagreements over expenditures were replaced by mutual understandings, due to both of us being on the same page. The transformation has been remarkable, more so with my husband showing enthusiasm towards budgets!
Did you have to spark a similar interest in budgeting in your spouse? How did you achieve it?
