Marriage is a pledge between two individuals who, upon legally confirming their relationship, resolve to journey through life together, sharing countless experiences. However, beyond infidelity, one significant challenge that can destabilize this bond is finances. Aligning financial objectives with your partner can be a tough nut to crack but it remains an imperative task before tying the knot.
It is estimated that the root cause of approximately half of all divorces is financial issues. Aligning financially with your partner is crucial to establishing a robust and harmonious marriage.
Reflecting back on my engagement five years prior, everything seemed idyllic about our relationship, barring the financial element. Discrepancies in our spending and saving patterns made me uneasy, especially considering our limited financial resources. Nevertheless, a positive takeaway was our honesty about financial matters, willingness to compromise, and total transparency.
SETTING EXPECTATIONS AND ACKNOWLEDGING YOUR PARTNER’S FINANCIAL HISTORY
Grasping the fact that your partner comes from a different background is crucial. Their upbringing might have influenced their financial attitudes significantly. They might see borrowing money from acquaintances as acceptable, while you might abhor it. Your partner might uphold traditional gender roles when it comes to financial responsibilities, whereas you might have a contrasting perspective.
Here are some strategies to synchronize financial ambitions with your partner before marriage.
CALL TO ACTION TWEET
ENCOURAGE YOUR PARTNER TO PEN DOWN THEIR FINANCIAL GOALS
In case your partner seems amiable, you may worry that they might agree with your financial plans to maintain harmony, rather than asserting their own views. To uncover their genuine objectives, ask them to write down answers to critical questions concerning their future plans.
Carrying out this activity with my partner, I discovered our differing timelines for buying a house. We managed to close this gap through communication, and arrived at a collaborative solution.
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ORGANIZE REGULAR FINANCIAL MEETINGS
Arranging regular meetings can help to synchronize your financial goals. You could hold these meetings once or twice a month to discuss budgets, mutual objectives, and areas of improvement.
These meetings provide a platform for open-dialogue, ownership, and motivation, affirming your joint commitment to elevate your financial status.
Ensure you use Considerate Phrases and the Right Tone of Voice
The manner in which you express your issues is key, as it can establish a positive or negative tone for your discussion.
Instead of resorting to critical phrases, adopt more considerate expressions, such as:
“When you do _____ it makes me feel ________.”
“Instead of _______ how do you feel about trying ___________?”
“You seem to be good at _________. Can you show me how to do that?”
“I want us to be on the same page; do you have time to discuss __________?”
Such phrases help establish mutual understanding between you and your partner when discussing financial matters.
RELATED: 5 Ways to Talk About Money with Your Spouse
CONSIDER FINANCIAL COUNSELING OR MEDIATION
When there are distinct perspectives towards crucial financial goals, it’s helpful to consider mediation or financial counseling.
Counseling doesn’t necessarily mean your relationship is in trouble; it’s a sign of your mutual commitment to finding a solution. An impartial counselor can propose valuable remedies. It might even be beneficial to attend a financial planning class before marriage.
Fortunately, my partner and I were both ready to adjust our habits and prioritize logical financial management for our family.
If you’re in a serious relationship or contemplating marriage, consider adopting these tips to ensure mutual financial alignment. Are you on a similar path with your financial goals?
